No, we did NOT have a Thanksgiving

Dan isn't here, the girls had school (no, England doesn't have Thanksgiving...it cracks me up when people back home ask...it's an American holiday...why would the girls have the day off) and riding lessons...I don't cook turkey...we did not have a Thanksgiving dinner. We had a Happy McD's dinner since the girls were hungry after riding lessons and I had forgotten to bring snacks. Madison and Hannah really don't know what Thanksgiving day is about anyway...a little sad...but to be honest...I was never that big into it. Just a day to eat way too much and have the TV on football all day...no, I'm still not that bummed we didn't celebrate.

16 days...I'm excited!!! I had a moment today...I don't have them very often. I think having a positive attitude and not dwelling on the fact he's gone helps the girls. They have a positive attitude about him being gone. The song...Switchfoot...Your Love is a Song...was playing on the radio...well through my iPod...I started crying while driving home. It was so strange and I like couldn't stop. I've done this three times since he's been gone...luckily it was dark and the girls couldn't see me...but I had this overwhelming feeling of just missing him. And so I decided to help get my mind off of him...we put up the tree and decorated. The girls were excited...we had a Christmas movie playing and it was so cute to watch Bells. She's starting to understand things...so it's fun. Abs was in heaven when I brought out the bead garland...and then had a fit when I put it on the tree. It was so sweet when Madison mentioned how she wished her dad was here so he could put on the star...he always does it...and asked if we could take plenty of pictures so he could see our decorations since he won't be here. Sometimes it is so hard to keep that secret....they are seriously going to go crazy when he shows up.

Bells...

I hope we never stop dancing in the kitchen. It makes me smile...and is one of the highlights of my day. I love how when it's a fast song we dance fast and when it's slow, you want me to twirl you. You even pick up a corner of your clothing as if you're wearing a ball gown. I don't know where you picked that up...but I love it.

Happy Birthday to me!

I have some pretty amazing girls. They decorated the dining room all for me the night before (we celebrated my birthday Saturday which worked out great since Abs was very sick Sunday and Monday was just crazy busy)...

They made me pizza....
They made me a strawberry short cake....

They sang to me as I blew out my candles....

They even wrote a message out of stremers....

I love my girls so much. Remembering what they did for me melts my heart...I even have a few tears. They are such sweet, caring, thoughtful girls. I really am blessed. Madison and Hannah did it all by themselves...they really stepped it up since Dan wasn't here to help to make my day extra special. Mission accomplished girls...I had the best 30th birthday (minus Dan) I could have asked for. And on my real birthday...a dear friend made me dinner that was delish!!!

Adios!

To my 20s that is. It's my last night being 29...I think my 20s flew by but not if that makes any sense. So much happened...so many exciting times...sometimes some hard times. Is it weird that I thought I was older in my early 20s? I felt so much older...but apparently looked very young. I will never forget the couple waiting in line behind me at the Commissary asking where my mother was...I had Madison and Hannah. It shocked them when I said they were mine...and I was 23. I had braces...I looked like I was 13 when I had those things on for 18 months. I always thought I was going to have a nervous break down when I would hit the big 3-0. I know I'm not there yet, but I don't foresee it happening and I really can't have one since what would my children do since I'm the only adult around. So and I must wait 4 weeks to have one if it is going to happen.

No really...I've been so blessed in my 20s. 4 beautiful, healthy girls. A loving husband who understands me and knows how to make me laugh whenever I don't want to. Sometimes I hate that trait especially when I'd like to stay mad at him for a little while. I also have realised what a great family I have....as in a mom, dad and sisters and brother. I've lived in 5 different states, 2 countries and have lived in 7 different houses these past 10 years. I've had so many good memories have made some really good friends which is hard sometimes with the military since I eventually have to leave. Sometimes I forget some of them...the memories that is....I blame pregnancy not "old" age on that....and then something reminds me of it and I just think wow, I've had such a great decade. Married, 4 kids, and moved and have visited lots of places...and I've been so blessed I've never had to work.

I kind of had this fear of getting older...I still think holy cow, my life is more than 1/3 over...but it just makes it easier I have such a great man in my life. I look forward to getting old and senile with him. I hope we're still able to walk but we like to tease each other that we're going to be in Jazzys riding along the road...holding hands....probably crashing into things. I am past the point of regretting choices I made...19 and 20 were hard years for me...but it all worked out. I am not going to lie...it took until I was around 27 to realize this and to move far away from everyone I knew...but through trials and consequences, if you truly are sorry, blessings do come out of it and you start to see those blessings and just accept how things were and never regret how it was. If you live your life in regret...it doesn't make you a very happy person.

And despite what Madison and Hannah are saying, I'm still "young." It makes me laugh that now I am "old" mum. But then I have to remember...it was only 6 months ago I thought 30 was "old."

You make me smile

Abs...she thinks she's all that since she can sit in the tub now by herself. I have this adorable clip of her just screaming and splashing (screaming is usually a good thing in our house...it is a house full of girls.) I love how she just is so excited about life. I just sit and wonder what her little brain is thinking when she's just sitting there. We have a crawler...I'm a little sad about that...I liked her immobile...and she just wants to stand up now. She's ready to go and be one of the "big" girls. It makes me happy...and it makes me a little sad. My last baby is growing up and looking like my mom. Dan can't get over how much she looks like Grandma Nancy. He says it every time we skype with him.
Bells refuses to have her hair up. She rips those hair things right on out. The other day I tried a new hair style. I showed it to her in the mirror. She said, "me, pretty." She doesn't take them out. This means food is no longer in her hair and she is no longer trying to eat her hair while she's eating. It's also nice to see her beautiful face. I also love that "belly" laugh. It makes Abs just crack up even if she was in the middle of crying.
The Hannah....I love when I'm driving and I can see her in the rear view mirror dancing and singing. There have been many times I have considered the possibility of having to pull off to the side of the road. She's hysterical. I love our conversations in the car...they are always the best. Madison...my little mini me. We were having a "rough" day the other day. I asked if it was at all possible she not argue every time I ask her to do something. She said it was nearly impossible. I asked her why...she said she doesn't know why she just does it...that I must have just passed that trait on to her and that is why she has been doing it since she was 1. I love how she is honest with me...and when she's not...I just give her the look and she'll fess up. We have a complicated relationship...sometimes more like a "sister" type thing going on...but she knows I love her...and I love how she trusts me. I hope that never changes.
What also makes me smile...the fact I tried on my new jeans that were a size smaller that I had just prewashed and dryed in the dryer and they fit! And I didn't even have to squeeze into them. Pre-Madison size is looking hopeful in the very near future!

Veteran's Day

I am so proud of my veteran. I think of all the sacrifices the past and present veterans have made and it makes me feel so blessed. I read this quote:

"Freedom is never free." -Author Unknown

Isn't it so true. Every time I stand up for the National Anthem when we're at the movie theater on base (it's the only time I really here it while living here). I tend to get teary eyed every time I watch all those men and women in uniform. I know...pretty silly...and I can't blame pregnancy anymore. I never really understood the sacrifices our service men and women made and make until that day I was sitting in the foyer at church in Lemoore. It was class time. I saw two men in uniform come into the building who were not members I had seen or didn't even know they were members. I remember a mother's cry from the Bishop's office. I instantly had tears running down my face as well as another woman who was out in the foyer with me. She had her husband to cling onto...I had Madison. I didn't know who was in the office at the time...I just felt pain and sadness for her and her family and a sense of reality of what our service men and women do. They risk their lives...some don't make it home...this has been happening for hundreds of years. I truly am grateful for those who have served and are serving. Almost every time I see an American flag, I think of them and how many have served to fight for the freedoms I have today.

Sometimes you just have to be blunt

So I called the doctor's office this morning. I asked for a nurse consultation right away for Abs and her rash on her diaper region. I was surprised when I received a call back in less than 30 minutes! It wasn't the nurse I like...it was another one. I was explaining about the rash and I told her about how it started about a week ago after her first dosage of the other antibiotic. She started to rag on me about why I didn't call. I was not in the mood and so I told her straight out I didn't because one, it might have just been a regular diaper rash and I wanted to wait it out to see if it cleared up on it's own. And 2, it takes forever to get an appointment. She surprisingly agreed with me. As I'm describing the rash she's telling me what I should be doing. I said I have been (diaper rash ointment, airing it out, making sure it's dry....) and I told her this was not a normal rash. She then proceeded to tell me about rashes and I (this isn't really like me) interrupted her and told her I know what a diaper rash looks like, this is my 4th kid, and they are all girls and this is not a normal diaper rash since none of it is around her butt area. She gave me an appointment for today. I was quite pleased.

So Abs is on the verge of a yeast infection. It doesn't look like a normal one but the doctor gave me some yeast ointment and she should be good in a week or two. I was just happy I received verification that this was not a normal diaper rash. (Thanks Christina for the yeast suggestion.) I was pretty sure it was because of the amount of antibiotic she's been on for the past three weeks. The doctor did check out her ears...there is still some redness and fluid so he's keeping an eye on it. Three months equals tubes. We've been lucky and hadn't had to do that but I rather it get taken care of soon than later. Hopefully we are on the road to a healthy, happy baby again and I will be able to get some sleep!

Something that reminds me of Shannon

I was taking a picture of Bells and me...she kept doing the "kissy" face in EVERY picture. And so I joined her...I look a little silly and don't mind the bags under the eyes...lack of sleep does that to a person. I'll take bags over wrinkles though!

*sigh*

Why do my girls...ok...mostly Madison...feel the need for me to entertain her all the time? I get this constant..."mum, what are we doing? What are we going to do?" It is annoying sometimes. Monday they had girl scouts and I had to laugh. Total side note...they both have Girl Scouts on the same day...Madison is at 4:30-5:30 and Hannah's 5:45-6:45....ANNOYING! People are like...oh how nice...it's done in one day. Are these people serious...try having to entertain 2, 2 and under for nearly 3 hours...not fun. Especially on a base that has pretty much everything closed on Mondays!!! Back to my story...so they are sitting in a circle and each one sharing what they did that weekend. I loved Hannah's answer..."we just sat around my house and watched TVs because mom was not in the mood to go anywhere." I love that kid!

Back to the base thing...so I hear Air Force bases are nicer...ok....so not the case here. I feel like the things we have available here are very limited...okay....so we're overseas. Now they have the post office on the main base closed Mondays, Wednesdays and Sundays (I get Sundays.) AND, we can't pick up packages on Mondays anymore AND not until 12 and they close at 4...minus I think today they are open until 6. I just don't get it. They are there anyway...why can't they be open?! I've kind of had it...I like living here...I'm just not liking the hours and how things are like closed and how it's so hard to get a doctor appointment....I know...I'm complaining...but this is my blog. Unfortunately I have to call the appointment line tomorrow. Abs has had this nasty rash in the diaper region and it's just not getting any better. Oh how I dread that call tomorrow morning.

In other news...the girls are doing well in Judo. They are going to be testing next week. I didn't think they were going to be ready but they are.

And Hannah is beyond excited to go to riding lessons tomorrow. She gets to canter by herself. She's doing really well. Madison was doing well until last week when I heard her name being called quite a bit to trot correctly. She apparently doesn't want to canter...it just looks too fast. I think she was just being LAZY and not wanting to trot last week. She's silly sometimes...and not the funny kind.

And Bells...she is now going Wednesday to school as well. I have to admit it was nice to have just one kid. Oh how I look back and think how easy it was with just 1...even 2 kids....

Abs...she is being a booger. The girl is sleeping even less and waking up more during the night. Like today, she was up 4 times last night and woke up at 630 and took maybe a 20 minute nap during the entire day. I was sure she was going to fall asleep in the car when we went to go pick up the girls but she was awake...and it's 8:11 and she's still not asleep. I had to laugh to myself when someone who stopped by said, "well, I hope you get some rest." I have just come to the conclusion I will not be able to get a full rest until I'm 6 feet under the ground. And so I will trudge along with little sleep and keep my head looking up...I just read that talk. It was just what I needed....especially after the night before with a baby who cried for 2.5 hours...she stopped as soon as I picked her up and cried as soon as I put her down.

On the road...

Sometimes I take the back roads to pick up the girls from school. I have hope two little ones will fall asleep...



Too bad it's a two way road and it fits only one car. I'm grateful the bushes are thinning out though...make it a little easier to see on the bendy parts.

Exciting news!

Dan asked if he could take his R&R during Christmas and he CAN! I'm so excited...he's so excited...the girls would be excited if they knew but we're not going to tell them. He's just going to show up at our house or at school pick up depending when he gets in. We were not expecting it since it's a few weeks before his 6 month mark but sometimes it pays to just ask. We have been skyping like crazy. I really miss him. We're approaching 4 months in a couple of days. This is the longest we've been apart at the same period of time. With his last command which was "sea tour" he would be gone for 2-3 months and then be home about 6 weeks...more or less...and then take off again. I think that was worse in a way...you'd get use to each other again and then he would leave. Dan misses his 5 ladies...sometimes we both wonder if we made the right choice...but then he would have been stuck doing a sea tour he wouldn't have been thrilled about for 2 1/2 years. Oh life...good thing is that the girls have been happy. They of course miss their dad but they are so busy with school and their other activities...they don't have time to miss him. It just reassures me we made the right decision in staying here in England.

Bells did ask for him the other day. He was online so she sat and they Skyped for 30 minutes...as in she just sat there and they talked to each other (Bells doesn't just sit usually)...and he sang to her...and she giggled and showed him some of her toys and her Abi. It was one of the cutest things.

What's not so cute...the fact it's 8:37 pm and Bells is still awake. I hear her running up and down the hall...that kid...she's driving me crazy with her ability not to sleep like a normal 2 year old. And so guess what I did this evening...I talked with her teacher and she is now going 3 days a week to the Montessori.